Cancer

There is a cancer in me
you say so matter-of-fact-ly
that it must be true,
no one questions it in the least
the signs are all there
I've been vomiting
and loosing weight
complaining of aches and pains
"Look," you say, "you're sick,
so sick that I need to operate,"
and so you get all the nurses ready
prep them with lies
no one would question a doctor.
You have them hold me down
forget the anesthetic you say
she needs to know how much it hurts
everyone to see her like this
And so you slit me open
with your scalpel,
as I scream "No!"
--A word I've been trying to lip all my life--
Everything is cool and calculated
as you take out my heart
it's not even where you said the cancer was
but it doesn't matter
no one will know the difference
and there is no way out
I can't fight anymore
I can't win this
no matter what I do you tell me
it's because of the cancer.
And now as I let go,
so do you and everyone leaves
my heart is in your jar
and I am bleeding here on the table
trying to stitch myself up.
I deserve it you say
it was necessary
I'm the only one who knows
you're a liar and deceiver
but you tell me it's the cancer talking
you must not have removed it all
you'll need to operate again.
I won't let you touch me
I won't let anyone touch me again.